Step 1c Unmanageable Spirit
The dash in step 1 means; new thought, so it actually reads “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol/drugs –(New Thought)– that our lives had become unmanageable” (Pg.59,¶2,L2). I must admit I can't manage my life drunk/high, or clean/sober or both!, so my real problem is; I’m a Poor Manager.
“where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane” (Pg.38,¶2,L22). If I make a list of all the crazy things I did while drunk/high, the most insane thing I've ever done will not be on it, because I did it absolutely clean & sober!, (but strangely INSANE)!
We’re always Sober & Clean when we take the FIRST one!
Have I ‘Crossed the Line’ of self control?; “At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic/addict, they pass into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking/using is of absolutely no avail.”(Pg.24,Top¶,L1).
Consider the 3 types of drinkers/users described on pages 20-21.
- Moderate Drinkers; “have little trouble in giving up liquor/drugs entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone.” (Pg.20,¶5,L27).
- Certain Hard Drinkers; “If a sufficiently strong reason; ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor becomes operative, they can also stop or moderate, although they may find it difficult” (Pg.21,Top¶,L3).
- The Real Alcoholic; “...once they take any alcohol/drugs whatever into their system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for them to stop.” (Forever). (Pg.22,¶4,L29).
- Does my experience prove, “so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. I’m unable, at certain times, to …(remember) the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.” (Pg.24,¶1,L7).
- Do I hate to, “think I’m bodily and mentally different from my friends?” (Pg.30,¶1,L2).
- Do I feel, “somehow, someday I will control and enjoy my drinking" (Pg.30,¶1,L6).
- Could I be, “in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period I will get worse, never better?” (Pg.30,¶3,L23).
- a). Will I believe, “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic/addict” b). And dismiss any, “lurking notion” that someday I will be able to use/drink.again?" (Pg.33,¶1,L4).
- a) Do I desire to, “stop altogether?” b) Can I “quit upon a nonspiritual basis?” c) Have I, “lost the power to choose whether I will drink/drug or not?” (Pg.34,¶2,L15-20).
- Do I have, “plenty of character and a tremendous urge to cease forever. But still find it impossible?” (Pg.34,¶2,L21)
- Am I puzzled by, “the mental state that precedes relapse into drinking/using, for obviously this is my real problem?” (Pg.35,Top¶,L1)
- I must wonder why, “Leaving aside the drink/drug question, why is living so
unsatisfactory?” (Pg.51,Top¶,L2).
- Do the, ‘Bedevilments,’ (Pg.52,¶2), discribe me before and/or after a spree? a). Am I having, “trouble with personal relationships?” With whom? b). Can I, “control my emotional nature?” How? c). Am I, “prey to misery and depression?” When? d). Can I, “make a (satisfying) living?” e). Do I have a, “feeling of uselessness?” In what way, at home/work? f). Am I, “full of fear?” Of what? g). Am I “unhappy?” With what? h). Do I seem, “unable to be of real help to other people?” In what way? i). Is a, “basic solution to these bedevilments more important,” than anything? (Pg.52,¶2)
- Do I use, “some insanely trivial excuses for taking the first drink", like boredom? (Pg.37,¶2,L12).
- Can I concede that with my alcoholic/addictive mind, “will power and self-knowledge won’t help in those strange mental blank spots?” (Pg.42,Top¶,L6).
- Am I willing to let go of all, “doubts in my mind that I’m 100% hopeless, apart from divine help?” (Pg.43,¶2L17).
“They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks/drugs” (Pg.xxix,Top¶,L1, LP.xxv). Only a Spiritual Awakening will substitute for alcohol/drugs, “When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically” (Pg.64,¶3L25) The 12 Steps offer a proven recipe for your own Spiritual Experience!
Step 1c Unmanageable Spirit