Step 9 Making Amends
- Once I’m willing, “to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience ...no matter what” (Pg.79,¶1,L7), "At once, I commence to outgrow Unfounded Fear" (Pg.68,¶3,L25).
- Taking responsibility for my actions reflects, “...a sincere desire to set right the wrong” (Pg.77,¶1,L10), and I become, “...calm, frank, and open” (Pg.78,Top¶,L3).
- Even if my effort is futile, “I’ve made my demonstration, done my part,” (Pg.78,¶1,L12), to understand "humility, fearlessness and honesty" (Pg.75,Top¶,L8).
Pages 77-83 of our Big Book offers insightful, Examples. But always consult your sponsor or experienced fellowship member to avoid causing extra harm. The following paraphrased questions may span entire paragraphs, please reference your Big Book for context.
- Do I realize it will be, “harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but it’s much more
beneficial?” (Pg.77,¶1,L23). Freedom from guilt or shame
- Can I refrain from argument and simply, “sweep off my side of the street ...never trying to tell them what they should do?” (Pg.77,¶2,L32)
- Will I trust, “In 9/10 cases the unexpected happens. ...Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress.” (Pg.78,¶1,L5). Helpful Results
- Will I stop,“dodging my creditors,” and, “Arrange the best deal for repayment I can, while sorrily admitting that drinking/using is why I’m slow to pay,” then, “lose my fear of
creditors?” (Pg.78,¶2). Money and Credit
- Am I willing to admit my troubles to a sponsor if I’m, “sure I would be imprisoned or lose my job if it were known?” (Pg.78,¶3). Criminal Offences
- Will I, “ask God to be given strength and direction to do the right thing,” even if I, “may lose my position or reputation or face jail,” realizing I, “must not shrink at anything?” (Pg.79,¶1).
- Can I be careful, “not to be the hasty and foolish martyr ...needlessly sacrificing others to save myself?” (Pg.79,¶2). Assigning Blame
- Do I believe, “before taking drastic action which might implicate other people, I must secure their consent, consult with my sponsor and pray for God’s help?” (Pg.80,¶1).
- a) Can I admit my, “alcoholism has complicated sex relations at home,” creating a, “resentful and uncommunicative spouse,” b) Can I avoid self-pity without looking for a, “secret and exciting affair? (Pg.81,Top¶-¶1). Sexual Infidelity
- Will I, “admit fault without all the particulars,” knowing I, “have no right to involve another person,” ask forgiveness and be, “sorry for what I have done, God willing, it shall not be repeated.” (Pg.81,¶1).
- Can I keep, “the other’s happiness uppermost in mind,” knowing I’m, “dealing with that most terrible human emotion, jealousy” (Pg.82,¶1).
- a) Was I, “like a tornado roaring my way through the lives of others,” as my, “selfish and inconsiderate habits kept the home in turmoil?” b) Am I, "unthinking by saying my sobriety is enough?” (Pg.82,¶3) Family Life
- Do I realize, “There’s a long period of reconstruction ahead, that I must take the lead,” and, “sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it?” (Pg.83,¶1).
- Do I believe my, “Spiritual life is not a theory, I have to live it,” and my, “behaviour will convince them more than my words?” (Pg.83,¶2). Living Amends
- Will I not, “worry about wrongs I can never fully right ...if I can honestly say to myself that I would right them if I could?” (Pg.83,¶3). Clear Conscious
- Will I act, “sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile,” because as an adult-child of God I, “stand on my feet; I don’t crawl before anyone?" (Pg.83,¶3). God’s Power
This 9th Step Prayer, asks for a forgiving grace: “we clean house ...asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love” (Pg.83,Top¶,L8).
The ‘Bedevilments,’ on (Pg.52,¶2), described my Untreated Alcoholism, but now the ‘9th Step Promises,’ on (Pg.84,Top¶), describe my Treated Alcoholism.
Step 9 Making Amends