Step 4c Sex Conduct
Write a prayer at the top of the page: "God please enable me to see truth"
- a) Did my conduct cause guilt, shame and remorse, “about sex?” b) Do I, “need an overhauling there?” c) Can I, “be sensible on this question?” (Pg.68,¶4,L26)
- Aside from sex, will I note my selfish conduct in all my relationships, anyone I’ve lived with or meet daily. Because my, “liquor/drugs are but a symptom, I must get down to causes and conditions?” (Pg.64,Top¶,L6).
- Can I list 'just the facts' to discover how and why I treat people as obstacles to, or opportunities for my selfish desires, “If I’m not sorry, and my conduct continues to harm others, I’m quite sure to drink.” (Pg.70,¶1,L11).
a) Brief History: “We reviewed our own conduct over the years past” (Pg.69,¶1,L11).
| #1) Name: (of person involved) _______________ Relationship: (to me) _________ |
|---|
1) Reasons I got involved ...?,
Did sex start this relationship ...? |
2) My specific (sex) conduct was ...?
Did sex alter my self-esteem ...? |
3) Contentious areas in my relationships ...?
Did I withhold or use sex as leverage ...? |
4) How it is now, or how did it end ...?
Did I cause undue stress in this relationship ...? |
b) Considerations: We got this all down on paper and looked at it. (Pg.69,¶1,L15).
| I look for my selfishness by answering these 9 questions; |
|---|
| 1) Where had I been selfish? | 2) Where had I been dishonest? | 3) Where had I been
inconsiderate? |
| 4.) Whom did I hurt? (other friends, parents, kids, siblings) | 5.) Did I arouse jealousy? | 6.) Did I arouse suspicion? |
| 7.) Did I arouse bitterness? | 8.) Where was I at fault? | #9.) What should I have done instead? (Sex Ideal) |
c) Harms: "We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem." (Pg.69,¶13,L24).
- Will I begin a new sheet of paper for each relationship, “I subject each relation to this test; was it selfish or not?” (Pg.69,¶2,L18).
- Am I willing to write out a 'Sex Ideal,' (in paragraph form), from my answers to question #9, "what should I have done instead?," (It’s never; ‘I should not have got involved’). Starting my sentences with; ‘God; in the future I would like to be ...’ “In this way I try to shape a sane and sound ideal for my future sex life?” (Pg.69,¶2,L1).
- When I see my truth, will I pray and apply it to all future conduct?, “ask God to mold my ideals and help me to live up to them?” (Pg.69,¶2,L19).
- Do I seek inspirational ideas for better conduct, “earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing?” (Pg.70,¶2,L15).
- Will I stay aware in future mistakes, “to comprehend their futility and their fatality and see their terrible destructiveness?” (Pg.70,¶3,L24)
- Is it plain to see my troubles are of my own making? “you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself.” (Pg.71,Top¶,L6).
- Will I practice, “tolerance, patience and good will toward others, even my enemies, looking upon them as sick people?” (Pg.70,¶3,L27)
- Am I, “convinced that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked me off from Him?” (Pg.71,Top¶,L2)
4th Step Summary; All my self-assessments become 'Spiritual Power-Tools,’ working with them unblocks me from God’s Power; “In this book I read again and again that faith does for me what I could not do for myself.” (Pg.70-71,Top¶,L1).
Step 4c Sex Conduct