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Step 8 Listing Willingness

I must switch focus to thinking about others, “We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves” (Pg.76,¶3,L20).

‘Sweep-Away’ Self-Centred Perspective by actively imagining the other’s point of view, “Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs” (Pg.20,Top¶,L1).

  • 8. "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all” (Pg.59,¶2,L22). Notice the word 'All' is mentioned twice.
  • I list everyone from my 4th Step, adding names uncovered by my 5th Step. Then I meditate, asking God to reveal any others. Even if I can't contact them, I become accountable to them.
  • “If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask, (pray), until it comes” (Pg.76,¶3,L22).
  • If I balk because someone has hurt me more than I harmed them, or they've said it’s not necessary, or I'm afraid of confrontation, I divide my list into 4 columns:
NowLaterMaybeNever
****** ****** ****** ******
****** ****** ****** ******
****** ****** ******  
****** ******    
******      
I should consult a sponsor, (or whoever ‘5th stepped’ me), for advice on sorting priorities and to review my plans of approach.

I start by making NOW amends, after them, I’m ready to do some LATER’s. By the time I finish those, I may attempt some MAYBE’s. Then after valuable experience, I could try the NEVER’s. “Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. (pg.76,¶3,L23),

I contemplate each amend asking "God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision" (Pg.86,¶3,L28). Remembering my "drinking experience makes me uniquely useful to other alcoholics" (Pg.89,¶3,L23)

minus changes to plus (— unwilling) / (+ willing)
Name / Institution _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Harms _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Plan of approach _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Phone / Email _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
'ASK' or best deal _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 
I keep notes on handy cards to mark progress

I don’t want to surprise anyone so on my first approach, (by phone or eMail if necessary), I briefly explain why I would like to meet in person. Then arrange a mutually agreeable meeting time and place, (perhaps a public area, diner or park).

I demonstrate good will by admitting, "that I will never get over drinking until I have done my utmost to straighten out the past" (pg.76,¶3,L20) And if I need time to repay money, "I arrange the best deal I can letting them know I’m sorry, drinking has made me slow to pay” (pg.78,¶2,L20). Remembering, ‘I’m not giving away my money, I’m returning their money to them.’

Since, "He is the Principal; we are His agents" (Pg.62,¶3,L28), this becomes my mission statement; "Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us" (Pg.77,¶1,L3).

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Step 8 Listing Willingness

“You may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer” (BBp44).

Once I heard an AA talk of amends similar to mine, I understood life on God’s terms. As I try to understand and tolerate others, God relieves my self-inflicted suffering.

“An archer needs a target” (Tao-Goal).

Philosophy aims at personal purpose. Short-term goals give quick benefits, long-term provides perspective. Helping others is a noble cause, because a gracious death without regrets is our common goal.

“No slavery is more disgraceful than one which is self-imposed” (Seneca).

Selfish pride enslaves me with my desire to control. I must be cautious of self imposed obligations, because when I play God, I’m doubting His Wisdom.

“To everyone, grace is given according to the measure of the gift of Christ” (Ephesians 4:7).

To build on success I must be able to recognize and be responsible for failure. Because I appreciate humility, God’s will becomes inspirational.

This key indicates where to find the quotes in our Big Book. (The earlier editions have less roman numeral pages), we use the 4th edition, and include page numbers for the Abridged Large Print Edition, B-24;

  • (Pg.xi) = 4th Ed. page #
  • (¶1) = 1st complete Paragraph
  • (Top¶) = half Paragraph continued
  • (L5) = 5th Line from page top
  • (LP.xi) = Large Print Ed. page #
  • Bold Green italic = Prayer or Insight
  • Bold Red Italic = Quote or paraphrase